Cohen Miles-Rath is an author, speaker, advocate, and mental health professional. In his own words, "before graduating college in 2016, I faced a mental health crisis due to untreated schizoaffective symptoms and nearly killed my dad."

We asked Cohen to share some of his thoughts on living with mental illness.

My Memory Box
Cohen Miles-Rath, November 2024

I have a memory box of schizoaffective symptoms. Some are mild. That evening the moon's rays felt too symmetrical. Those nights I struggled to sleep because of rapid thoughts.

Some are severe. That week I barely ate or slept. Those days I believed I was the Prophet. That time I attacked my dad because I thought the devil was inside him.

Symptom seriousness has varied throughout my life. They once dragged me down so far that I wound up in solitary confinement, screaming at the terror in my mind. However, that was before I knew how to identify them and respond healthily. After I accepted my mental illness, I gained an insight that has given me more control of these unsettling states.

What was that insight? I see it as an ongoing process of growth. One strengthened by the knowledge of mental health, and the development of social-emotional skills including self-awareness and responsible decision-making.

This hasn’t been easy—recovery has taken years of hard work. But it’s been worth it. As symptoms continue, I manage them, and then add them to my memory box. Something I reflect on often. Something that reminds me how severe mental illness can get if it isn’t taken care of.

Jail was a turning point for me. A time when I felt a need for change so that my soul wouldn’t suffocate in despair. But I wouldn’t wish for anyone to face such an experience. I’d rather see growth with mental illness when first emerges. For that, insight has to be a priority.